Supporting a survivor of sexual harassment can be daunting especially when it is someone close to you and you are worried about saying or doing "the wrong thing." You don't have to be an expert to support someone but there are some really simple things you can do that will help.
Listen and Believe
- Listen. If someone discloses an experience of assault or harassment to you, listening to what they tell with no judgment, compassion and empathy can be incredibly helpful. Just taking the time to listen to someone and talk about what has happened can help.
- Believe. Rather than asking a lot of questions, just let them know that you believe them and will support them as best as you can. Try not to skip ahead to what to do practically without first validating what you have heard and listening to what they have to say.
- Reassure. Remind them that no one, regardless of relationship or status, has the right to hurt them and that no matter what, it is not their fault that this occurred.
- Give Options. Somebody who has experienced sexual harassment may feel they have had power and control taken away from them. This means the most important thing is to respond in a way that increases their choice over what happens next. You can simply ask them what they need or want. They might not make the same decision you would; however, only they can decide what is best for them. You can help them explore options but avoid telling them what they should do.
Signpost to University Support
There is lots of specialist support available within the University that your friend or loved one can access for support.
- Student Life Adviser. An adviser can talk through the University's procedures, how to make a complaint and what support is available, in confidence.
- Residential Life Team. Whether it is your neighbourhood Student Services Resident (SSR) or the Duty SSR, if you are living in UEA residences there is someone to talk to.
- The uea(su) Advice Service is a free, confidential service. Advisers can support students who have been named in a disciplinary report for breach of the General Regulations for Students, and can talk through the procedure, what options are available and help you complain if you are unhappy with the process.
- Your School. If you are a student you can talk to your academic adviser.
Signpost to Specialist Services
- The Harbour Centre. The local Sexual Assault Referral Centre (SARC) has Independent Sexual Violence Advisers (ISVAs) who are trained to look after the needs of a survivor of rape or sexual violence to ensure they receive the best possible care and understanding. Contact them and ask to speak to an adviser in confidence. ISVAs are there to provide information to ensure an individual can make a decision that is right for them. If you have worked with an adviser in the Student Life Team in Student Services, they can help facilitate a referral to the Harbour Centre.
- Rape Crisis England and Wales. Provides further information on supporting a survivor.
- Sue Lambert Trust. A Norfolk based charity that provides support for survivors of sexual abuse.
- The Survivors Trust. A service for male survivors of sexual abuse as a child or as an adult.
- Victim Support. If you report a crime to the police, they should automatically ask you if you would like help from an organisation like Victim Support. But anyone affected by crime can contact them directly – you don’t need to talk to the police to get Victim Support help.
- Galop is an LGBT+ anti-violence charity who support people who have experienced hate crime, sexual violence or domestic abuse. They also support lesbian, gay, bi, trans and queer people who have had problems with the police or have questions about the criminal justice system.
Reporting Options
It's important to respect any reporting decision including a decision not to report at all. There are a lot of reasons why someone may choose not to report, only they can decide what is best for them.
- Police Some forms of sexual harassment might also break criminal law, in which case you can report to police. In an emergency or if you are in immediate danger you should dial 999. Otherwise, you can call 101, report online or visit your local police station to report a crime. Reporting is a big decision and all of the support services linked to above can support you with this, if your friend or loved one decides to make a police report.
- University. If the perpetrator is a member of the University community, your friend or loved one will have the option of submitting a formal report. The first step to making a formal report is to speak with an advisor, who will be able to provide your friend or loved one with advice and support on what options are available to make an informed decision.