You may be worried about your own behaviour. If you think your actions have been - or are becoming - abusive or harmful to someone you care about, read on. There are services and support available to help you to address and change these behaviours.
Defining 'harm and unhealthy behaviours'
‘Harm’ does not just mean physical violence. It includes unhealthy behaviours such as:
- extreme feelings of jealousy
- difficulty controlling anger
- intimidation and making your partner scared or anxious
- emotional, financial or physical abuse
- screaming, shouting, punching and throwing objects
- criticising your partner and putting them down
It's normal to have disagreements and argue from time to time. But if you are intentionally causing harm to your partner, friends or a member of your family, and your actions are motivated by extreme feelings of anger and jealousy, that’s not healthy. Confidential help is available.
If your contact with someone has become fixated, obsessive, unwanted and repetitive:
- Do not make any further attempts at contacting them
- Do not follow them
- Do not show up in places where you expect them to be and have no reason to be yourself
- Take responsibility for having caused them distress
- Take actions to understand your behaviour, the impacts, and how to navigate future relationships – there are resources here to help you.
If someone has told you that you have hurt them
- Listen to them without interrupting.
- Take time and space away from them if you need to process what you’ve heard or are feeling angry or upset.
- If they need time and space away from you, accept this and do not put any pressure on them.
- Take responsibility for the hurt which they have described.
- Be led by them about what should happen next in regards to your relationship and interactions with them.
- Take actions to understand your behaviour, the impacts, and how to navigate future intimate relationships – there are resources here to help you.
University Support
UEA Wellbeing Service offer a range of advice and support to students experiencing difficulties with their wellbeing or mental health. To access wellbeing support, please fill in the online referral form.
External Support
Respect Phoneline offers support if you are worried about some of your behaviours in your intimate relationships and you want to take steps to change them. They have a lot of resources about relationships, as well as a confidential and anonymous phoneline where a friendly Helpline Advisor will listen to you without judgement and give you honest advice.
South Norfolk and Broadland District Council have information on their website which you may find helpful.