Immediate help 

Are you in immediate danger? If you are in immediate danger or seriously injured call 999 (or 112 from a mobile). 
 
Find a safe space. If an incident has just happened, try and find somewhere you feel safe. 
 
On campus. If you are at the University you can call University Security on 01603 592222 for emergencies (01603 592352 for non-emergencies). 
 
If you are in UEA Accommodation? Call your Duty Student Services Resident (SSR) who can respond from 6pm to 7am during weekdays and over the entire weekend. 

What is Domestic Abuse? 

We believe that all forms of abuse within a relationship is Never OK. 
Domestic violence can be any incident or pattern of incidents of controlling, coercive, threatening behaviour, violence or abuse between those aged 16 or over who are, or have been, intimate partners or family members regardless of gender or sexuality. This can include forced marriage, so-called “honour-based” violence and ritual abuse. 
The abuse can encompass, but is not limited to: 
  • psychological 
  • physical 
  • sexual 
  • financial 
  • emotional 
Controlling behaviour is a range of acts designed to make a person subordinate and/or dependent by isolating them from sources of support, exploiting their resources and capacities for personal gain, depriving them of the means needed for independence, resistance and escape and regulating their everyday behaviour. 
Coercive behaviour is an act or a pattern of acts of assault, threats, humiliation and intimidation or other abuse that is used to harm, punish, frighten, isolate or create dependence. 
There are links and overlap between domestic violence and the continuum of sexual violence. 

What is Relationship Abuse? 

Abuse in relationships can happen to anyone. It’s not normal, it’s Never OK and definitely not part of a healthy relationship. It isn’t always physical, it can be emotional and sexual abuse too. If your relationship leaves you feeling scared, intimidated or controlled, it’s possible you’re in an abusive relationship. If you’re experiencing abuse, or have done in the past, please remember that you’re not to blame and there are people who can help you. 

There is ever an excuse for relationship abuse. Anger, jealousy, alcohol or wanting to protect the other person – none of these are excuses. Domestic violence or abuse can happen to anyone by anyone. Find out how to recognise the signs and where to get help.

If you're worried someone might see you have been on this page, find out how to cover your tracks online. 
Domestic violence, also called domestic abuse, can include emotional, psychological, physical, financial and sexual abuse in couple relationships or between family members. 

Recognising the signs of domestic violence and abuse 
There are different kinds of abuse, but it's always about having power and control over you. 
If you answer yes to any of the following questions, you may have an abusive partner or family member. 

Emotional abuse 
Does the person ever: 
  • belittle you, or put you down? 
  • blame you for the abuse or arguments? 
  • deny that abuse is happening, or play it down? 
  • isolate you from family and friends? 
  • stop you going to university or work? 
  • make unreasonable demands for your attention? 
  • accuse you of flirting or having affairs? 
  • tell you what to wear, who to see, where to go, and what to think? 
  • control your money, or not give you enough to buy food or other essential things? 
Psychological abuse 
Does the person ever: 
  • call you names? 
  • yell or swear at you? 
  • ignore or isolate you? 
  • exclude you from meaningful events or activities? 
  • threaten to hurt or kill you? 
  • destroy things that belong to you? 
  • stand over you, invade your personal space? 
  • threaten to kill themselves or the children? 
  • read your emails, texts or letters? 
Physical abuse 
The person abusing you may hurt you in a number of ways. Do they ever: 
  • slap, hit or punch you? 
  • push or shove you? 
  • bite or kick you? 
  • burn you? 
  • choke you or hold you down? 
  • throw things? 
Financial abuse    
Does the person ever: 
  • Control how money is spent? 
  • Give you an “allowance”? 
  • Deny you direct access to bank accounts, loans or grants? 
  • Forbid you from working? 
  • Run up large debts on joint accounts without your permission or take actions that leads to you having bad credit? 
  • Force you to be involved in fraudulent activity? 
  • Spend money on themselves but not allow you to do the same? 
  • Give you presents or pay for things and expect something in return? 
Sexual abuse 
Sexual abuse can happen to anyone, whether they're male or female. Does the person ever: 
  • touch you in a way you don't want to be touched? 
  • make unwanted sexual demands? 
  • hurt you during sex? 
  • pressure you to have unsafe sex – for example, not using a condom? 
  • pressure you to have sex (including with other people)? 
  • If someone has sex with you when you don't want to, this is rape, even if you are in a relationship.
A third of domestic violence and abuse against women escalates during pregnancy. If the relationship is already abusive, it can get worse. Find out more about domestic violence in pregnancy. 
 

What if I have been domestically abused? 

Domestic violence or abuse can happen to anyone by anyone. 
If you think you may be in an abusive relationship or experiencing abuse from a family member, there are lots of people who can help you.

Think 
  • Are you in immediate danger? If you are in immediate danger or seriously injured call 999. 
  • Find a safe space.  
  • Safe Taxi Scheme. This scheme has been set up so that you can get home safely if you don't have any cash, you can pay the fare the next day. 
Talk
  • To a friend. Talking things through with someone you trust can sometimes help. 
  • Student Life Adviser. An adviser can talk through the University's procedures, how to make a complaint and what support is available, in confidence. 
  • Student Resident Life Team. Whether it is your parish Student Services Resident (SSR) or the Duty SSR, if you are living in UEA residences there is someone to talk to. 
  • The uea(su) Advice Service. A free, confidential, impartial service where an adviser can talk through the procedure, how to complain, what options are available and support you through the process.  
  • Human Resource Adviser. An adviser can talk through option whether the incident involved another staff member at UEA, a student, or a visitor to campus. 
  • Employee Assistance Programme. This free confidential 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year service is an UEA employee benefit available. Confidential support independent from UEA, with professional consultation, counselling, information, resources and referrals to services in your local area. 
Report 
  • Report to A & E, Call 999 and request an ambulance 
  • Report to Police, Call 999. There is an option for silent support if talking will put you in danger. 
  • If it is not an emergency, you can speak to your GP/healthcare professional or call the Police non-emergency number 101 or attend any local Police station 
  • Rights of Women have detailed advice about reporting to the police and a guide to criminal investigations 
  • Report to the University and get Support. Students and staff can report an incident using the University’s Report and Support system. You can choose to do this anonymously or you can request support from an adviser. If you choose to talk to an adviser they will be able to talk through the options and support available to you, in confidence. 
  • University Procedure. If you choose to make a formal complaint to the University about a student or member of staff there are procedures which set out the steps you'll need to follow. 
Get Support 
  • Leeway. Norfolk’s largest specialist provider of relationship abuse support, is available to offer free help and advice. 
  • Refuge. A Freephone 24-Hour National Domestic Abuse Helpline: 0808 2000 247 
  • Men’s Advice Line. Advice and support for men experiencing domestic abuse and violence. 
  • Galop. For lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people. Galop is LGBT+ anti-violence charity. 
  • Women’s Aid. A grassroots federation working together to provide life-saving services and build a future where domestic violence is not tolerated. 
  • The Survivor's Handbook. From the charity Women's Aid is free, and provides information for women on a wide range of issues, such as housing, money, helping your children, and your legal rights. 
  • Extenuating Circumstances. If you feel your studies have been affected by what has happened you can consider applying for extenuating circumstances. 
  • Find out what support is available if you have been domestically abused. 
Mental Health and Wellbeing 
1 in 4 people are affected by a mental health problem in any year and it is estimated that around 1 in 5 people has contemplated suicide or self-harm. 

Helping Others 

Are worried about someone else being domestically abused? 
 
If you think someone you know is or has been experiencing domestic violence, there are lots of ways you can help them. 
 
People’s reactions to experiencing domestic violence can vary; they may be afraid, angry or have no outward reaction at all.  They might even act in ways that seem unusual to you, even laughing at seemingly inappropriate times or trivialising what has happened to them. 
 
Disclosures can come in many forms; it could be something said jokingly, a story that someone starts to tell then stops and says it doesn't matter, or it could be a question.  You are not expected to be a professional counsellor; however how someone responds to a first disclosure can be really important. It can take time for a person to decide what they want to do and how they want to move forward. 
 
Remember 
  • They might not want to report to the police or the University.  There are a lot of reasons why someone may choose not to report domestic violence. 
  • They might be concerned that people won’t believe them or may not identify what occurred as a sexual assault 
  • They may be concerned who else might be informed. 
  • They may have fear of or confusion about the criminal justice system or what happens if you report it to the university. 
  • Let them know that you believe them and support their decisions. 
  • Remind them that no one, regardless of relationship or status, has the right to hurt them and that no matter what, it is not their fault that this occurred. 
  • Connect them with resources that can help them understand what happens if you report to the police and or the university.  
You can find more information and advice on the I'm worried about someone else page.  

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